Comments (63)

1671994 - 18 May, 2024 - 05:03PM

No I like that they trust me enough to share their problems and thoughts with me

R Deckard - 18 May, 2024 - 04:29PM

I have found that personal help, advice, support etc reveal a lot about the giver, and about the recipient too. A lover who is a good person struggling at a difficult time, or dealing with long nested traumas, will be grateful to you for your advice and support. But a lover who is, or has turned into, a bad person will take your support for granted, use you as a dumping ground for her personal issues, or resent you for trying to point out the need for her to get help.
For someone like that, you can't fix bad stuff that happened decades ago and metastasized in her soul. It's too late. Whatever good is left in them, it's become too little to stop them from dragging you down - intentionally too. Cut the ropes, and let them sink to the bottom without you on board.

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MadameDeMaintenon - 15 May, 2024 - 05:15PM

No. I see myself as being the confidant they need, as well as lover. I want to know them and their lives, and do what I can to make their life better.

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dickdastardly69 - 15 May, 2024 - 11:11AM

Haha, not really, it’s just chatting and finding out about someone. I’d rather be talking like that than about fluff. But I mean everything in balance right? It’s not the Samaritans, and I’m not going to bring people boring misery problems, that’s not very fun, and we’re here to brighten up our lives with laughter and lurve, sweet sweet lurve 😂

Jordi12 - 15 May, 2024 - 10:23AM

Maybe need to get that part out of the way at the beginning, so as long as it’s not the theme going forward. As they say ‘Life is like a box of Chocs”.

Who dares - 12 May, 2024 - 10:56PM

Surely an IE is something special away from domestic drudgery. Seeing an IE is a break from the norm and should be happy . Leave your problems at home ok you might mention something in passing but thats itv

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Is it in yet? - 12 May, 2024 - 10:36PM

I've met more than one lady on here that had a level of life trauma that should really have been addressed professionally. (both forms of abuse).

There's a part of me that feels a compulsion to help but I've now figured out I need to switch that off as much as I can on IE for reasons of my own mental health.

I tend to try and point them in the right direction gently and wish them luck now.

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Housewife84 - 12 May, 2024 - 08:42AM

Yes lol rather just meet and get busy lol 😜

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Life is a beach - 11 May, 2024 - 10:49PM

Some sane comments below.
Old snapper I have a lot of respect for you. What you did was amazing and I am sure you really helped her in a difficult time.
In answer to the question, nothing wrong with having a moan about things now and then with your IE if you have a solid relationship. Don't moan all the time, otherwise you will spoil everything.
We all need to have a moan now and then, however, people who moan all the time do become draining. Don't be one of those!

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Legs&Eyes - 11 May, 2024 - 09:57PM

Old Sapper

Thats an amazing thing you did..you could so easily have discarded her, and she clearly needed/wanted those chats or else she would have discarded you... big respect for that

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