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Hot & Cold

My IE goes from hot to cold very quickly - for ages I hear nothing, than weeks of attention. I let it go because we're both married, and we have this intense connection, but the coldness drives me insane. Do I confront him? Or should I play hard to get too?

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Comments (94)

971869 - 26 Aug, 2020 - 07:12AM

We all know when we start the ie affair what the situation is like, with both having other partners. There are periods where contact is not possible.


1363556 - 25 Aug, 2020 - 08:53PM

My previous IE was like that. I endured it because I really liked him, in hindsight I think the affair was very one sided, I wanted more than he could give in respect of communication. When we did message each other it was great and I felt wanted but days of non contact upset me, I felt like he was not interested. It was a rollercoaster of emotions. He called it a day in the end stating work pressure. I have joined again in the hope of finding someone who has the same expectations.

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Gormlessoaf - 24 Aug, 2020 - 02:33AM

Well being give the time to occupy in your own way, albeit lacking communication; is way better than having a dominating,controlling presence?

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995040 - 23 Aug, 2020 - 08:14PM

My I E was fun and we got on amazingly well. His attentiveness varied depending on his work or family pressures. It was irritating but I know it was his personality. I found another equally great IE to fill the gaps. Problem solved.

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1403173 - 23 Aug, 2020 - 05:57PM

Us non needy guys just love a non needy lady.......please please please DO treat us as we would treat you !!
However ..if its a needy chap you are looking for then its a different matter.... :-)


1400267 - 23 Aug, 2020 - 10:06AM


OrientalAngel80 is right!

Once my IE didn't reply my email for 10 days without any real reasons. When I didn't reply back his email, after 2 days he sent another message asking where I was!!

It was ridiculous... and I told the story when I met another man and said that I more or less reply your emails with the same amount of silence that you put between my email and yours, he was stunned! As if I'm the bad guy!!

The first guy still in contact although he can't meet any more!... Of course I understand it if there is an emergency, or if he tells me that he is going to a family trip or something that he can't send a message for a while. I'm not a robot after all! 😋

I was one of those needy girls before, but I learnt to be cool, put on a smile and treat guys the same way that they treat me.

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ExoticOrchid - 23 Aug, 2020 - 09:50AM

London-lady 09:09AM

Completely agree with you.

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1387952 - 23 Aug, 2020 - 09:19AM

@ Buck McFuddy

Sounds like you make sense but I've found that guys don't like to be treated the way they treat women. It's like they expect women need attention so thus expect messages from women - whether they bother replying to them or not.

I like a bit of chatter in between meets, just to make sure they haven't been caught or have died haha but I don't feel the need to have daily chatter.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

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1332870 - 23 Aug, 2020 - 09:09AM

Buck McFuddy - 23 Aug, 2020 - 09:00AM

Men and women are very different. With the male once the rumpy pumpy is done he dosent really want to know ..until the batteries are recharged and he is ready for more rumpy pumpy ! .


Another sweeping generalisation don't tar all men with the same brush.

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1403173 - 23 Aug, 2020 - 09:00AM

Men and women are very different. With the male once the rumpy pumpy is done he dosent really want to know ..until the batteries are recharged and he is ready for more rumpy pumpy ! . With the female once rumpy pumpy is done ..she DOES want to know ...and gets upset when said male does not reciprocate ( other than the odd message to try to keep her sweet until he is ready ) . Its not him being cold or dismissive ..he is just being normal and enjoying not having to comply with the same rules as he does when married ( i.e. keeping his partner sweet and pandering to her insecurities )

 2 members like this comment.

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