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Hot & Cold

My IE goes from hot to cold very quickly - for ages I hear nothing, than weeks of attention. I let it go because we're both married, and we have this intense connection, but the coldness drives me insane. Do I confront him? Or should I play hard to get too?

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Comments (94)

DorsetLass89 - 21 Aug, 2020 - 08:19PM

*brakes


DorsetLass89 - 21 Aug, 2020 - 07:56PM

@Sparkle6996

My best advice would be to update your profile to reflect what you truly want out of this experience.

I also agree with both Sportster’s and OrientalAngel’s comments.

You will adapt your approach with each date you go on and learn from it too. It takes time to find that connection and unless you are looking for a one off hook up, I’d say pump the breaks and meet for some non sexual dates first.

Good luck x

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1327360 - 21 Aug, 2020 - 07:54PM

Reading some of the response and the subject I'm left very confused. It should be clear enough that if you meet someone, regardless of how well you got then they start ignoring you (when they are still on, seriously searching) then the simple fact is THEY ARE NOT INTERESTED IN YOU! Some people are polite and will pretend to enjoy your company then break free after the meeting. If you decide to have sex with someone on a 1st date, make sure you are open minded enough about it because "just because they DID you, doesn't mean you are having them". Your IE is not interested, move on.
If I were married and someone else didn't want, I'd think long and hard. This should be fun not emotional rollercoaster.

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1387952 - 21 Aug, 2020 - 07:41PM

Sparkle6996 - 21 Aug, 2020 - 05:57PM
"He was keen for a meet so I agreed. We had a lovely day together but since then he barely acknowledges me. He is never off this site and ignores my messages now"

May I play devil's advocate and ask whether you had a conversation about exclusivity or whether he even wants to see you again?

When I was new and gullible I thought 'wanting a woman to build a connection with' meant they wanted longterm and exclusivity.

What I found was that its just BS that guys put on their profile as they have a 'get out of jail' card... Its our fault for interpreting it whatever way we choose to.

Unless you have a clear conversation to manage each other's expectations, you will find that you will fall into this trap again and again.

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1117169 - 21 Aug, 2020 - 07:19PM

@Sparle6996

I have a great deal of sympathy for you. There are men, and women who are on here for exactly that kind ofone off hook up. Its not acceptable behaviour as far as I am concerned but you have to remember that there are all kinds of people on here, men and women with varying agendas, expectations and standards of behaviour. There are plenty of women on here motivated by money who have less than honourable intentions (I have first hand experience) and of course droves of timewasters too.

Having some sort of rogues gallery or blacklist, tempting though it is would just end up in a mud ( To put it politely) slinging forum that would drag the site down to the lowest level of bitterness and nasty recrimination.

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Gilbertsourgrape - 21 Aug, 2020 - 07:01PM

All this conflicts with the thread about phone secrecy and the one about limited meetings. Where one imagined that cheating ie folk had iron discipline, and never let themselves be exposed.

Where and when are folk going to be able to be in that much contact?

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gemini2310 - 21 Aug, 2020 - 06:57PM

Sparkle6996:

There's alot like that on here not happy too just meet one person proberly ladies also that's why I make then wait for any sexual contact with me but there are also some genuine ones and the site can make it hard for them it happened to me once met said he only wanted me then he was online he was gone straight away don't stand for it whether female or male

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gemini2310 - 21 Aug, 2020 - 06:03PM

Regards the letter he had feelings for you why would this stop regular contact no one would play mind games with me messaging just when they wanted to cannot believe some people are so gullable but maybe that's just me I say things as they are


Sparkle6996 - 21 Aug, 2020 - 05:57PM

I want to name and shame some members on here. I chatted with a guy on here and we really seemed to get on. He was keen for a meet so I agreed. We had a lovely day together but since then he barely acknowledges me. He is never off this site and ignores my messages now. He is obviously on here to meet woman purely just for sex and then discards them afterwards to move on to the next one. I worry about these other woman and feel they should be made aware of these types of guys. Who agrees?

 26 members like this comment.


Secretaccomplice4u - 21 Aug, 2020 - 04:59PM

Suadela2020,

We all have to get somethings out of our system when we're in our twenties.
Most of us learn the good from the bad - unfortunately not all of us.

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