Comments (186)

Teresa di Vicenzo - 01 Apr, 2021 - 10:00PM

coolhand77
Interesting comment about the ‘something morbid’ scenario. It’s something I’ve thought of (both my IE and I are in our 50s; you never know), I’ve a very good, trusted girlfriend who has my IEs contact details to notify him if I was to drop dead - or whatever. To be honest, I’m pretty confident my IE does not have a similar arrangement with a trusted person. I think I’ll pursue that, I couldn’t stand him just ‘disappearing’.

Similarly, a few years ago a previous IE I had (10 years older than me), was worried he’d die ‘in the act’. He instructed me I was to simply leave him in the hotel bed and let the maid discover him at some point. Harsh ..

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Sigmaguy - 01 Apr, 2021 - 09:39PM

Baretta,

Re-love bombing.

I had no idea what it was until a woman I dated told me about it. When I researched it it explained the behaviour of a particular woman I had dated and a girl I had dated in my 20’s. In both cases the behaviour was pretty much as described.

The word Narcissist is used for lots of weird behaviour, I think we all have a bit of a narcissist buried inside us. But it’s real, I am aware of it and the knowledge has protected me from a couple of toxic people since.

😘

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1424835 - 01 Apr, 2021 - 04:44PM

All depends on the stage of the relationship - in the early days there’s always a risk of overdoing things and running out of steam...so I try to not go overboard with the messages/kiks, but obviously as things mature then there’s a natural rhythm. I don’t think a few days without contact is much to worry about, separate lives and all that, has to be a bit of understanding that circumstances may not allow for easy contact.

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1436059 - 01 Apr, 2021 - 02:15PM

It depends on the kind of relationship you have. If we are strictly fuck buddies, we make contact to agree a meeting. If we have a friendship where we check on each other occasionally then it would be rude not to respond to a text (for more than a few hours). I'm busy and no matter how busy someone is, they can always afford a few mins to respond to a text! Define your relationship and stick to the arrangement.

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ExoticOrchid - 01 Apr, 2021 - 02:03PM

coolhand77 - 12:44PM

This topic has been discussed a few times before although I don't think there was anything conclusive ... I would say it depends very much on each person's circumstances as well as the nature/length of the IE "liaison" ... could give a trusted friend the email address or mobile number ... or leave a sealed envelope with one's solicitor in case of death? 🤷‍♀️

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1352053 - 01 Apr, 2021 - 12:44PM

Bit of an aside and morbid perhaps. Contact by secure e-mail is best but suspect many each have their IEs mobile number although do not text without prior agreement. Has anyone thought of how to manage the situation when something tragic might happen to one half of the equation? The temptation from the other half would be to call/text, eventually?

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1421217 - 01 Apr, 2021 - 08:59AM

I know , it’s the researching love bombing I find odd ,

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1117169 - 01 Apr, 2021 - 12:17AM

@ Beretta

Sigmaguy is actually making much the same point as you are.

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1421217 - 31 Mar, 2021 - 04:16PM

Yes sigma guy , because everyone needs to do tests written by snowflakes , how’s about using the good old common sense , miss love need want you texts from someone you don’t know is batshit , and if you need to look up to see that , then the person shouldn’t be allowed out without their mum ! , we all have a b£&@:hit radar gut instinct use it . Have fun

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Sigmaguy - 31 Mar, 2021 - 01:57PM

Anonymouse-1

I agree that receiving an affectionate text is great, but I suggest you research the subject of ‘Love Bombing’ -

Too many texts, and affectionate messages before you’ve actually gone on dates and begin to know the person, are a huge red flags. How can anyone miss, love, need, want you if you don’t know them and they don’t know you?’

Loving texts once a relationship is ‘in flow’ is absolutely gorgeous...

Can I also recommend you and your partner take the ‘Love Languages’ test (Google it) - It can resolve many miscommunication issues and both you and your partner will know what turns each other on.... Some people hate messages and see them as needy, some love them and look forward to receiving them.

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