Fulfilling Long-term Relationships
I was lucky enough to click with the very first guy I met on IE. It was short-lived and I assumed that was the nature of liaisons on a married dating site. This time I found another lover…and it’s been going strong for several years!!! We’re not in love, but we are completely in lust ….still!! Have others found similarly fulfilling long-term relationships here?
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Comments (99)
1468516 - 17 Aug, 2021 - 02:13PM
My affair lasted ten years on and off sadly that came to an end just before lockdown
figroll - 05 Aug, 2021 - 09:23PM
Same here , 1st guy i met clicked straight away , lasted sexually for 7 yrs then he had health problems ,we became friends and still are though he is married we meet for coffee now and then , still fancy him .....
Newblue - 31 Jul, 2021 - 01:30PM
What I was trying to say before I pressed the wrong button is that finding someone for sex is the easy bit, finding someone for emotional support is much harder. I think we all need that deep down.
Finding that person you just click with, that is very rare and hard to find.
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Newblue - 31 Jul, 2021 - 01:27PM
It's easy to find someone to sleep with. Finding someone who can fulfil thatlittle emotional hole in your head that makes your day
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Your Sexy Woman - 29 Jul, 2021 - 12:30AM
Yes, I have ... it is all about finding someone who wants what you offer and vice versa ... once you meet each other's needs it can last for years and years. Well that's been my experience, more than once. You need to be honest and open, that's the tricky part. Authenticity is lacking on here, but not impossible as I've proved.
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1460364 - 27 Jul, 2021 - 09:48PM
By its very nature an i.e is short lived. Familiarity breeds comtempt. It's best to move on before things get stale.
1447655 - 27 Jul, 2021 - 11:58AM
Language - now that is something I am very passionate about! (Re: the below). The lexis for 'love' is problematic because its subjective and means different things to different people.
Love
Being 'in love'
Being 'infatuated'
Smitten (personal fave)
Limerance (only coined in the 1970's)
#### drunk (I made that one up!)
It's why communicating about these things is a minefield! Lust is part of being 'in love' imo, but 'being in love' isn't the same as 'love' and lust can manifest its sweet little self in any of it, because like a willow the wisp it is empherial! A lot of people say 'I love you' when what is meant is 'I want you'... 'I have to have you', or sadly 'I'm sorry'.
This is why the Innuits have 52 words for snow and apparently the Scots have over 400! How many words and phrases do we have for all the different types of 'love', I wonder?!
(Geek girl whitters on to herself for half an hour...)
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Sigmaguy - 27 Jul, 2021 - 10:50AM
We are nit in love but we are completely in Lust? and you've been going out with each other for several years? That's possibly the oddest thing I've ever read when it comers to relationships. It begs the question"what is love?
Staying attracted to someone and keeping the fire burning after the honeymoon period is over is possibly the toughest thing to maintain in any LTR... Love isn't what most men/women crave anyway... it's respect and trust... Love is just a meaningless word suited for the immature... and again, most people associate it with pain, others see it as a sign of weakness. I use the word Adore instead of the word Love.
As for the question. Nope, I've found some great short term relationships on here, each one taught me a valuable life lesson, so they were still fulfilling.
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1447655 - 24 Jul, 2021 - 08:13PM
None of us are the finished product yet. We move through life and we alter and change like water over glass. Each love tells us a little bit more about what we want and need and who we are. We can't exactly hand a new person a set of measurements and say "this is my set of needs!" It moves, appetite changes. We all come here for different things, and sometimes what we thought we came for, isn't what we wanted after all.
Someone on here suggested a while ago that you put the work in before you join (Sigmaguy). I've found this experience has been part of that work. It's made me acknowledge stuff I'd packed away and deal with it. I've contacted ex's and put stuff back together that was long time broken from what I've learned about myself whilst on I.E. and I've made peace with the thing I crave.
If any of that makes sense...
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