Comments (107)

1645560 - 26 Feb, 2024 - 09:51PM

Its really all down to luck. The stars align and you happen to cross paths with someone that is on your wavelength, respectful, that doesn't mess you around for kicks or treat you like a dog

Even when you start off as casual, after a few times you both realise its a good thing and you become each others first choice, then it lasts as long as it lasts

It terms of the affair logistics. I made a lot of mistakes initially but you learn to cover your tracks better and have stronger cover stories. Its easy to setup secret phones, credit cards and bank accounts to keep it all discrete and out of sight

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giggly hamster - 26 Feb, 2024 - 08:46PM

OP, every person you meet is different and their rules and the way the dynamic will work will be different.

What you learn is how to make things run more smoothly and not make those schoolboy mistakes like creating alibi's and being able to adapt and harden to what is thrown at you in the future.

Like everything in life you never know what to do right, you only know what not to do wrong. Experience after all is knowing what not to do, and someone with lots of experience has screed up a lot along the way and learnt from it.

 1 member likes this comment.

1639125 - 25 Feb, 2024 - 07:32PM

I had a 5 years affair from IE. I wanted something long term but I genuinely did not think it would have lasted that much. I believe the secret was that we connected mentally. I am good looking but I am not a model and I do think physical attraction is important but not as much as the mental connection and the being in each other brains all the time.

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1575033 - 04 Jan, 2024 - 06:12PM

Its all pot lack and all different. Compromise to achieve the aim

1586130 - 04 Jan, 2024 - 02:50PM

My approach has definitely changed over the years. I am less concerned about distance (within reason) and much more picky when it comes to who I will message.
The results are the same - probably a couple of dates which may or may not come to anything, but it's less work on my part.

I'm also a lot more realistic about how difficult it is to meet someone nice, and so don't get as despondent when I see an empty inbox.

You only need to get lucky once.

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Te chercher - 31 Dec, 2023 - 08:14PM

Hours of online communication is no substitute for a chance meeting lasting only a few minutes. In those few moments I can usually work out if this is someone I would like to see again. Online communication is cumbersome and unreliable. I have found the process frustrating and it has left me jaded.

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1641029 - 30 Dec, 2023 - 10:31PM

Back again. I can't say as it gets easier with my set of geographical circumstances, but I'm ever hopeful

 1 member likes this comment.

boav91 - 30 Dec, 2023 - 12:46PM

For me it took six months to find my ie. I had had chats with others, one which led to a meet up but nothing that really progressed to anything sustained that I was looking for.

There were negatives in there too being blocked for miscommunication and people making assumptions based on incorrect ideas and frequently just being ghosted. People trying to exploit you too for money on a couple of occasions. All very frustrating and disappointing.

It then suddenly changed. I met the one who I just clicked with and we have now been together a few months. I think it is hard to put a timescale on these things but when it works, it works. Yes it is early days but so far, things are getting better so fingers crossed that continues.

For now I feel very content with where things are at so yes it did get better but when that is depends on meeting the right person for you

 6 members like this comment.

CatsPyjamas - 29 Dec, 2023 - 11:39PM

Zero luck so far. No knowledge to pass on.

 3 members like this comment.

Life is a beach - 29 Dec, 2023 - 09:59PM

First 3 months were disappointing, chatted and met a couple of nice people but no spark, met someone who I thought was OK, but he wasn't right.
I was a novice, then met my now IE who is absolutely the needle in the haystack. My first and believe my only.
It gets easier to adapt my excuses to be able to spend time with him.
You just have to work out what is best adapted to your normal life for it to work. Yes, it gets easier!

 3 members like this comment.