Am I just panicking or should I be concerned?
I’ve been chatting to a guy on here since last October, and wanted to meet him, but due to a family bereavement on his side, a meet hasn’t happened yet.
Recently I’ve really wanted to meet him, but when I mention he says he can’t, as he’s too flakey and concentrating on his family. He has a habit of going awol from chats for weeks at a time, with no word, then comes back, and expects me to be ok about that.
This week he finally decided that he’s like to meet, but I’m worried about the circumstances. The hotel he’s picked is near his workplace, but a 40min drive for me, he doesn’t want to meet for a drink first, just go straight for sex. He’s picked the day, but hasn’t even asked me if it’s convenient for me.
My intuition is telling me to be careful, but I’m not sure if I’m just nervous, as this would be my first affair.
Could anyone that has more experience offer and guidance or gut feelings on this one?
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Comments (151)
1100888 - 24 Feb, 2022 - 10:32PM
Sounds like a bit of a cad to me.
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1504097 - 24 Feb, 2022 - 09:37PM
If you need to ask the question, you know the answer. 😊
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1497361 - 24 Feb, 2022 - 08:51PM
Abort mission
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Mad World - 24 Feb, 2022 - 07:57PM
I wonder if the good Lady has gone and done the deed…
Will we ever know …?
1507214 - 24 Feb, 2022 - 07:47PM
RUN!!!
As some have stated here already; there seems to be no commitment, always an excuse for every misdemeanour and you seem to accept this??
Is gas lighting still a thing???
Time to put your big girl pants on and move on without saying a word - see how he likes it!!!
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Someonetokiss - 24 Feb, 2022 - 07:17PM
As the book and film is called, he's just not that into you. Regardless of bereavement or not. A coffee could have been achieved at the very least in 5 months. 5 months I repeat. No meet before a hotel? He'll either not show up or ghost you after citing guilt, need to focus on joke life or he's suddenly busy.
Run a mile. I bet he's made you feel you mean something to him which ensures you accept his apologies when he comes back after dropping you. That's not acceptable in an established affair let alone one yet to even start.
Kick him into touch and invest in someone worth your time and attention. It might hurt because of your investment so far, but better to have short term pain and move on, than feel used after a cheap empty shag.
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ExoticOrchid - 24 Feb, 2022 - 06:59PM
Well, based totally on what the OP has written here ... definitely go with your gut feelings ... unless you too just want a ONS like he obviously does!
Just because you are on this site doesn't mean you don't deserve any respect and from what you have said, this man has no respect for you.
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Lesalanos - 24 Feb, 2022 - 06:12PM
Far too many red flags there. He has no respect for you or your feelings
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pokingpanda - 24 Feb, 2022 - 05:40PM
From a decent blokes point of view this sounds so wrong. I would not mess a lady around then expect them to drop everything at my demand. Might be ok over chat but meeting someone for the first time in a hotel is a big ask. For a ladies well-being & to establish trust & understanding I would always insist on drinks in a safe public place which is mutually acceptable to both. As so many others have said please don’t go. We all want to hook up & enjoy ourselves but your personal safety is of the utmost importance. A more understanding & less demanding man is out there somewhere for you. Take care x
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FluffyClouds - 24 Feb, 2022 - 05:23PM
Do not go! It seems he's only interested when he has nothing better to do. He is a selfish user. Chatting since October and no meet? Why? His reasons and insufficient. Stop right now with contact. The whole debacle sounds concerning to me.
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