Is ADHD a good excuse?
My best friends husband cheated on her last month and he is using his recent ADHD diagnosis as the reason he played away. I don’t know what advice to give her. I think this is a cop out excuse and he’s using the diagnosis to get away with it and get her back but the more I read about it I am coming around to being on his side more. Can anyone offer any wisdom or their own experiences on this? Feels like ADHD is all we hear about these days and it is really to blame mistakes on it rather than someone behaving like a complete a**ehole!!! I want to give her the right advice but I’m torn… help.
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Comments (35)
Paula99 - 14 Sep, 2023 - 06:16PM
Logic boy …
You can get a bulldozer through the Moderators …that means nothing …they are here to ensure you pay your premium.. they don’t give a toss what is posted here ?😂
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logicboy - 14 Sep, 2023 - 01:40PM
Paula99 if you are a site Moderator then delete the thread if this isn't a discussion that should be had here. If you are not a site moderator it isn't up to you to judge whether or not a thread should or shouldn't be discussed in here. In fact, all the evidence suggests that it is deemed by the decision makers to be suitable - given that it got through any initial moderation and remains on here.
To the OP, thank you. I value the question and some of the points raised. As someone still exploring my own justifications for looking outside my marriage, and exploring what it is I want / don't want etc. So all perspectives welcome as far as I'm concerned.
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Paula99 - 14 Sep, 2023 - 01:26PM
Firstly ADHD is a complex brain disorder and this is not a topic that should be discussed in here …this isn’t ‘mumsnet ‘ …like Beckysharp says ..
There are lots of people that behave like arseholes and that are not ‘labelled’..like Boav91 states..
Yes we are all on the ‘spectrum’ somewhere but if you believed everything you read on the net…if you cut yourself shaving you are about to die …
I cannot comment on this subject because I am not qualified to address it but to couple it with cheating is like saying mice only eat cheese …
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1599264 - 14 Sep, 2023 - 10:42AM
Lol... What's the next excuse going to be?
I got flu so I decided to sleep with that gal... If someone cheats it's simply because they desire it more... I mean many people in this site cheats but just don't give lame excuses.. Be honest and admit to what you did and if possible see if things could work out.
I find life is easy if you are honest about things.
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Nearly_New_Romantic - 14 Sep, 2023 - 10:09AM
Firstly ADHD, is never an excuse for anything, we all have autonomy and need to own the choices we make.
However ADHD brains crave novelty, excitement, even drama and danger. An affair delivers all of these wrapped in a perfect package of lust and sensuality. So it’s no surprise that we are over represented among affair Havers.
Unscientific I know, but having spoken to quite a few people on here, it wouldn’t surprise me if half of us are ADHD, whether diagnosed or undiagnosed.
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HotChoco - 14 Sep, 2023 - 09:51AM
Does anybody knows how much for ADHD test / consultation fee ?
**Asking for a friend..... 🙈
1408586 - 14 Sep, 2023 - 09:22AM
I agree Sandypops there’s been a couple of posts like this recently. Wrong website love try mumsnet 😂
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boav91 - 14 Sep, 2023 - 07:20AM
Adhd can make you more impulsive and can make you act and think later. It also. Make make someone less likely to be discreet and to be less careful. It does not make anyone do anything. There would be other reasons too, but then we are all on this site looking for an illicit encounter so I do not judge.
Acting like an asshole may be, in par,t just being that, being an asshole but who also has adhd . Adhd if that is there will always have been there you don’t suddenly develop it and the person in never explained by one thing imo. There are many people with adhd who are not assholes
Beyond that some sage advice below
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mipaulac - 14 Sep, 2023 - 02:30AM
I know quite a lot about this being an ADHD and Aspergers sufferer.
They are all life conditions so how does a diagnosis suddenly change behaviour? It doesn't beyond, shock or revelation since it's always been there.
Having said that impulsive behaviour is one of the characteristics of an ADHD persona as loyality, trust and being able to see through illogical liers and scamsters one of those of Asperger's.
It's strange you ask this question on a deceivers forum and all I can say none of us is perfect and succumb to temptation.
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