Comments (52)

1641403 - 05 Jan, 2024 - 09:27AM

Be open to meeting people who you don't perceive to be your type, and say yes more than you say no. Use this as space to meet different sorts people and you may be surprised by who you click with, I certainly have been in the past.

 3 members like this comment.

Hot lips 69 - 04 Jan, 2024 - 06:41PM

Surround yourself with real friends, male or female, there's no such thing as a perfect life or marriage, you gotta want it to work (both of you) you haven't provided much info as to why your unhappy, is it you ? Or something more. Be true to yourself and your husband, until you do that you will be saying the same thing next year

 4 members like this comment.

1493674 - 03 Jan, 2024 - 09:57PM

Leave this website. No one replies in the main and those that do just bugger off shortly to find someone better. Waste of time being here.

 6 members like this comment.

1641572 - 03 Jan, 2024 - 04:38PM

Well if you are committed to staying in your marriage I thought what Eliza said in her comment is a great start. Your IE may or may not be there but don’t that let define your happiness. I don’t watch for alerts coming through so I don’t let the possibility of starting an exchange or not define my day and my mood. I believe that if you persevere it will become clear by what we say to each other if there is something there worth taking further. Be a happy person and believe in who you are.. Make new friends. Pursue new interests. And be open to the possibility of an intimate relationship. I think being happy makes us more relaxed and able to enjoy ourselves. Good luck on your IE journey

 5 members like this comment.

boav91 - 02 Jan, 2024 - 11:20PM

When I began this journey it was terrifying and i felt like like a fumbling idiot, probably still am but hey. The start brought out all the failure feeling I had from younger.

I do agree with some of the comments below that you have to be clear in your mind what you want and that is not a judgement on anyone, only you need to now what you are and are not comfortable with. Everyone is different.

Then you have to filter the wheat from the Chaff. There will be a lot of chaff but if you know what you want and give it a chance it can work. People talk about finding it hard but also people who have been in relationships for years.

I am still a newbie -ish I guess at 9 months in but I did find my IE. We both want it to work out and we will see what happens from there. Long way to go!

The biggest thing I found that helped me is dont take it too seriously. Dont take rejections to heart and just enjoy the contacts sometimes for what they are. Some may develop others not. Isn't that life?

Good luck a

 2 members like this comment.

Paula99 - 02 Jan, 2024 - 08:54PM

We have all been ‘ IE virgins’ at some point ..good luck to you …you are going to need it…but whether you find your answer here is another story ..😔

 1 member likes this comment.

ExoticOrchid - 02 Jan, 2024 - 05:24PM

Ahh but marrieds are very safe unlike singles ... exit affair??? ... Jesus, Mary & Joseph perish the thought ... never by a married ... 🤣🤣🤣🙄🙄🙄🤣🤣🤣

 3 members like this comment.

1447655 - 02 Jan, 2024 - 04:01PM

There are two types of people who do this. The first do it, conversely, to preserve and protect their home-life. The second are stood with a pin in their mouth and a grenade in their fist. OP sounds like the second.

Don't go looking for an exit affair, even subconsciously. It will be messy. Work on your primary life making you happy and having 'this' life as an add on. The other way around and its an ineffective sticky plaster. No lover or amount of sex can make you happy. We have to get that for ourselves.

 14 members like this comment.

LadyDe - 02 Jan, 2024 - 03:13PM

@Doricles

Haha I now have a ticket number taking system in place, my inbox now in a virtual queue and my fingers now have repetitive strain and told work I now need to take this week as holiday ….

And then suddenly I woke up with husband reminding me to do the ironing
🤣

 3 members like this comment.

Surprisesurprise - 02 Jan, 2024 - 02:46PM

Agree with a lot of the comments already on here… take your time and make sure you feel comfortable with someone. I’ve had a successful relationship from here previously and now back searching again! Good luck.

 1 member likes this comment.