Comments (223)

1632151 - 31 Oct, 2023 - 04:17PM

If you're iffing and umming then really the first trip should be to the doctor. That way, you can get treated before you take the plunge. Plus, if you fancy the doctor, you've saved yourself all the bother of finding someone online.

1622807 - 31 Oct, 2023 - 02:06PM

@beckysharp you're right but also on another count. Undecided first timers are one of the worst groups to engage with.

Ghosting, breadcrumbing, evasive tactics (when trying to schedule meets) are all inherent to the incommited newby.

But we all have to start somewhere I guess.

 1 member likes this comment.

princeofpassion69 - 31 Oct, 2023 - 01:51PM

I’d start off slow, maybe it’s the excitement of someone new, the stolen kisses, the nice walks hand in hand that you’re missing. You never really know til you try it, right?

1408586 - 31 Oct, 2023 - 08:38AM

I know this is an old post but if it was a friend I would say don’t have sex outside your marriage unless you are 💯 sure. For some people the guilt can be crippling and can lead to confessing and the break up of marriage.

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boav91 - 31 Oct, 2023 - 07:20AM

There is some sensible advice on here people are here for different reasons. For me it was because there was just something missing that was insidious and I could not fix in what I had but neither did I want to walk away. My ie I eventually met is in the same boat. Neither of us wanted to change our situations but had failed to rectify what we had. By now meeting , carefully and with as little risk to wider life as possible, it seems to release that pent up frustration in "real" life.

I think I agree you need to know why you are doing this. Meet in a neutral space to see if online comparability is the same in person and as so many of these forums say, are you physically and mentally connected, is the first kiss something that melts you or sends you running?

The first meet is always hardest to some degree and I am sure for a while at least there may be guilt and worry too as well as the excitement this all brings but if you are here you are already thinking you need more than maybe you just go for it

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1629944 - 31 Oct, 2023 - 01:23AM

You are here, which means you want it. You already meet someone…so…

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Artstudent - 30 Oct, 2023 - 10:35PM

Just do it. Unless by taking it to the next level, you mean you are considering doing it in a lift, in which case that might be considered fairly adventurous by some....

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1631941 - 30 Oct, 2023 - 09:00PM

You don’t need to go full out for sex.
Just meeting someone to cheer you up. Makes your day

RaRaRusputin - 30 Oct, 2023 - 07:38PM

Some good comments here but without diving into your circumstances it's a little hard to speculate on your requirements:

Are you married or living with someone?
Do either of you have children?
When will you meet - the same time every time might look suspicious.
Where will you meet - again, same place all the time might look suspicious.
If you're contemplating a regular thing then beware of complacency - it's very easy to get comfortable with a routine!

How are you with guilt? Could you handle the psychological impact of having an affair? Or will you crumble after the event?

On the plus side, ad hoc meets can be very refreshing - not just for your ego, they can be very uplifting.

Choices, choices. It's really up to you and your circumstances weather you go ahead or keep things plutonic.

Good luck, whatever you choose!

 1 member likes this comment.

1326897 - 30 Oct, 2023 - 06:53PM

Don’t do it somewhere something is telling you not to

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