Comments (186)

princeofpassion69 - 24 Oct, 2023 - 03:00PM

It really is different, I suppose that the contact might be a lot more frequent at first and then settle down into a nice rhythm, but don’t overthink it is the simplest advice! ;)

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Paula99 - 18 Oct, 2023 - 07:33PM

It all depends on the type of guy you are involved with …some like to text avidly and send pictures and jokes but others just like to check in now and again ..

Everyone is different..

If you’re lucky you can choose the guy that suits your type of communication…

I can do great comms with the ‘right’ guy ..

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Bobby224 - 18 Oct, 2023 - 06:55PM

@Enigma @Beckysharp

I totally agree and understand everyone’s circumstances are different and every affair is different! I’m sorry Enigma you had that experience basically with an insecure man. If your work and home life situation had been explained and his then you both have to respect that if not walk away. Becky sharp is correct i think it is very hard to change the way you comm but it can work on different levels. Like I said I have had two meaningful long lasting affairs. One would just enjoy checking in, in the evening and that was enough and if she had a spare hour or so on an odd evening we would have some fun. The other woman would like to chat for hours about her day etc every evening and a few messages during the day! So different kinds of commas but basically the same as we liked some contact daily if possible.

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1408586 - 18 Oct, 2023 - 02:33PM

I think if comms styles don’t match it can become a problem very quickly. If one wants multiple messages a day and one wants a check in every week…

And changing our style of communicating can be really hard!! And probably not realistic in the long term

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boav91 - 18 Oct, 2023 - 02:01PM

@Mister.e.Mann

I did not mean to say everyone had to do what I do but we both fell in to that. WE both like it like that but it wont work for everyone. Different strokes so to speak.

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1408586 - 18 Oct, 2023 - 10:24AM

Exactly Mister E Mann!!!! But I do think it’s important we match with comms as much as possible.

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1614937 - 18 Oct, 2023 - 10:11AM

- boav91

That's kind of sad to hear. Now, not only do I need to match by age, distance, interests, looks, owl/lark and aspiration, but also by how often we message eachother? Personally, I think that will turn my pool of potential IEs into a shallow puddle in the hot sun!

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1408586 - 18 Oct, 2023 - 10:05AM

Agree Bobby224 we are not teenagers obsessing over the meaning of every message!

One of the reasons I ended something that I did not want to end, but felt he left me no choice, was surrounding his rubbish comms. Obviously a lot more to it but I did end up feeling disrespected.

It’s something I’ve reflected on quite a lot in terms of what is and isn’t ok for me. And the importance of comms in an affair (for me). One thing I do know is that if lack of comms is causing me anxiety again I have to walk away

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boav91 - 18 Oct, 2023 - 08:27AM

So yes I want if possible, with no risks, daily contact and when I settled for my new IE here, that is what happened. We have a good morning and a good night as well as contact when we can in the day. Day to day will vary based on risk but we try and both like the same amount of contact. Also as both our regular partners are generally asleep by 1030 on a Friday that becomes date night and the chat then can last for several hours.

Nothing beats in person meets but that is not as possible as much as we would like and this keeps the connection going.

I tried connecting with others and it was not the same so I think the key is there will be someone who matches what you want. If you are not feeling satisfied you either bring it up and resolve or maybe it is. not right. Having had both good and bad there are people who will match what you need.

There is no point being dissatisfied in two relationships is my take on it

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Enigma.. - 18 Oct, 2023 - 06:56AM

@Bobby224 @Beckysharp

I, personally, most days, cannot get onto the site during the day when I’m working but on my days off, if no one is about, I’ll log onto the site and message via other means too. It’s the same in the evenings and at night.
Everyone’s circumstances are different.
I’m not involved with anyone at the moment.
However I’ve had males get fed up with the fact I cannot always message/reply back, via the site, WhatsApp, telegram etc… straight away. They’ve gone on to accuse me of messaging other males via different means of communication.
This even though I tell them my work and personal circumstances 🤷🏼‍♀️🙄.

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