Comments (186)

Legs&Eyes - 17 Oct, 2023 - 07:47PM

Bobby224 - 17 Oct, 2023 - 07:29PM

Shame you're so far away from Yorkshire! Lol....

Legs&Eyes - 17 Oct, 2023 - 07:39PM

TheBoredHousewife - 17 Oct, 2023 - 06:54PM


Yes! Agree!

 1 member likes this comment.

Bobby224 - 17 Oct, 2023 - 07:29PM

Daily messaging is a absolute must for me! Obviously there will be occasions where this not possible such as holidays, weddings etc, but as a rule on a normal day it’s a must. I’m positive that, that’s the reason my two long term affairs worked.

I know it’s old hat now and lots of you will disagree but e-mail is where I feel safe and confident. Logging in during the day and seeing a surprise message is great! We could message whenever we wanted knowing it was 100% safe that our partners could not see the message. We also had certain times of day we just mailed exactly the same as texting bouncing off each other. It’s a complete must for me, daily contact, it keeps you both close between meets.

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TheBoredHousewife - 17 Oct, 2023 - 06:54PM

I’m an avid texter, and if someone has spent the time chatting to get the meet, then I would expect a similar level of engagement post meet if things are to proceed to the next level.

I’m afraid my attention span is short. Daily checkins is what I expect. Granted not everybody has the time to do hours every day, but perhaps an agreed time set aside to virtually keep in touch between meets might help. It’s worked for me anyway.

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1408586 - 17 Oct, 2023 - 05:21PM

I find men with very full time jobs and very young kids have so little time or headspace for the communication and messaging of affairs. But maybe I’m just making excuses for them 🤷‍♀️

I’m interested in people agreeing messaging frequency upfront! I tend to be quite laid back entering into something new but next time (if and when!!) maybe I should be more upfront about things. Do you dump if your agreed boundaries are breached? It’s so hard when there’s established chemistry…

Legs&Eyes - 17 Oct, 2023 - 05:09PM

I like messaging, both sending and receiving... its part of the secret excitement for me - and Im a huge texter anyway in general...
And yes agree that the amount of contact and when etc needs agreeing up front in this scenario...

But lets face it, if a guy's saying to me he has zero intimacy at home, has a 'friend-zone relationship only, sexy-time ended some years ago, if there's no bedtime fun, all communication is about putting the bins out, the food-shop and who's on the school-run..
then honestly, somehow finding the time to swap a couple of sexy messages a day with me could remind someone that they are still alive after all.... and keeps it all fresh and zingy! Lol....

Personal view only of course!

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1627467 - 17 Oct, 2023 - 03:45PM

I would say this is a difficult question to answer.

It depends on the boundaries agreed at the beginning of any IE established relationship. For the most part, people are in relationships so it maybe inappropriate to be sending messages at times that have not been previously agreed.

That said, despite people’s circumstances: the idea of this site is to bring excitement to individuals lives that may not continue to exist in their current situation.

So it stands to reason that for excitement to bloom and for expectations of a IE relationship to offer more than the status quo: we need to maintain a frequent, open and honest as well as owe inspiring line of communication.

Otherwise, what’s the point: we all need mental, emotional and spiritual stimulation: only then is the sexual experience of any relationship worth while.

So i would suggest establishing firm boundaries from the outset, so we know when is appropriate to message: and to ensure we’re not getting anyone in trouble.

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1529050 - 17 Oct, 2023 - 03:40PM

Should read REALISTIC (NOT unrealistic) O to be able to edit

Dotty Green - 17 Oct, 2023 - 03:33PM

I do not think the good night or good morning texts are REALISTIC (unrealistic) and should not be expected - nice if they happen.

We all have lives just be realistic.

1408586 - 17 Oct, 2023 - 03:36PM

I think a change from their normal messaging pattern is more of a clue to whether they’ve lost interest. Although obviously messaging peaks early on and fades into a more established routine.

I did think matching with someone who has a similar comms style to me was important to what I was looking for (after previous bad experience) but have realised that in person encounters are the most important element to an affair and I can compromise to a degree on messaging

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1529050 - 17 Oct, 2023 - 03:36PM

sorry should read REALISTIC (not unrealistic) O to be able to edit a post