Comments (48)

Life is a beach - 08 Jun, 2024 - 11:05PM

Very strange post for IE.
Are you on this site because your partner is trying to live moments with you that he did share with his dead wife?
If someone is trying to recreate something they had before with someone alive or dead with you, it's not right.
I would have a conversation with him and would tell him to stop it and treat me for what I am.
I wouldn't do this to anyone including my IE. He is unique, I create my memories with him.
I grieved for someone, trust me, it's hard. I wouldn't dream of putting my IE through being compared. My IE is very different and why would I dare recreate a past with him when the present is so much better.

 3 members like this comment.

laugar164 - 07 Jun, 2024 - 12:43PM

If I want what I had at home I would not be on here
We are all looking for something the enhanced our lives without causing disruptions to our families

As yet I'm still looking but I live in hope

Quitefunny123 - 06 Jun, 2024 - 10:58PM

You know the answer is new relationship. No one will have an account here it they fancy their old one

William658030 - 06 Jun, 2024 - 10:35PM

You can't go back it'll never work, best to recreate a new exciting life .

 1 member likes this comment.

Secretmeetings - 04 Jun, 2024 - 08:14AM

Different person means a different chapter

Hunkydorry - 03 Jun, 2024 - 09:49PM

I think trying to recreate the past is not going to happen. There will be frustrations. You have to let go the past. He will expect you to be his first wife which is impossible. Maybe sit down with him and explain to him calmly you respect the feelings he had with his first wife but he now needs to move on but you will give him all what you can. There is no overflow from the first relationship. It is now between you two. Best wishes

 1 member likes this comment.

HedgeFundLondon - 03 Jun, 2024 - 09:25PM

I don’t think I’ve ever tried to recreate something, I guess I’m quite lucky that I live in the moment/now.

1676657 - 03 Jun, 2024 - 03:39PM

Might be the case for those who are separated or widowed. But for those who are married they are probably looking for someone who is different. I think it all comes down to finding someone who can give them what is missing in any case.

Paula99 - 03 Jun, 2024 - 01:50PM

You can’t recreate what you had before because every guy lady and their circumstances are different …it’s impossible 🙅

You can find something similar and nurture it a little so you get the best out of it …plus trying to find someone within your distance parameters because you know logistics ARE important to make it work and factor in your work/shift schedule…it’s not easy but it’s fun trying 😉😉

1660660 - 03 Jun, 2024 - 11:41AM

It’s quite interesting that many of us might have body types or traits we find attractive, but I think it might be the case for personality traits too. This could be a manifestation of your husband's projection of his own personality , or of some of his preferences. Either way though, every relationship is different. It might be that these are some of the positive aspects from his deceased wife in a similar way that someone might enjoy eg a hairy chest, or an ample bosom, without it being a desire to relive it. On the other hand you are right to highlight the differences between your relationships. I can say that what I would be looking for in an IE is something different to what I already have at home, but I always found my wife attractive and if I found someone similar to her but filling the gaps, I can’t say I’d decline that, but I’m also not actively looking for that either. It’s the filling the gaps that is important.

 2 members like this comment.